So I am infertile, now what?

With every injection, my abdomen grew until I looked five months pregnant. On retrieval day, my last fertile day, the reproductive embryologist extracted twenty-six eggs from my swollen and exhausted ovaries; they did good! It all felt like a bizarre pregnancy that culminated with an awkward sci-fi delivery.

When will I feel normal again?

This past weekend I attended the first birthday party of an adorable little girl. Between singing happy birthday and cheering on a messy cake smash I caught up with Julie*, an old friend I was hoping to see on this festive day. As usual, she radiated casual elegance in a blush silk blouse and tailored…

A Stretch Marked Heart

I’ve always found other people’s scars interesting but even more so now. Scars are a visible clue into someone’s  riveting backstory. I’m not the only one who is intrigued by these markings, Brene Brown has said, “I found the work of people whose hearts are stretch marked and scarred to be far more profound than…

Chemo Brain

What does it feel like? Imagine your brain is steeped in fog, everything seems fuzzy and nothing is clear, at least that’s how it felt for me. 

Ghosted

I’ve heard stories of being ghosted and knew of people who had gone through it; a friend’s boyfriend suddenly disappeared, a family friend just ceased to exist. I assumed there was an underlying reason for these strange stories. Perhaps my friend was in a secretly toxic relationship and maybe there was a fight that led…

Teva, Small Talk, and Cancer…

There is nothing like dropping the CANCER bomb to end all small talk. Telling people you have cancer is like plowing through a conversation with a Mack truck. All parties end up shocked, upset, and looking like they’ve just been run over.

What people don’t get about cancer…

What people Don’t Get about Cancer… and its not their fault…but it is still ok to get mad: What people don’t get about cancer is that you can look totally normal when you have cancer or when you’re in treatment. Sometimes you may even lose weight and look BETTER than normal but it does not…